Like so many posts I’ve read on here, I never thought we’d be here. Today we discovered that our 12 year old daughter, “RR” in 7th gr – in a Catholic School S.I’s. She confided in her P.E. teacher and my husband who is my daughter’s step-dad, also works at the school. P.E. teacher told my husband that she asked RR why she looked so down today during class. RR didn’t immediately answer her but then came and told her that it had something to do with scissors. P.E. teacher asked her, is it what she thinks it is? and RR said yes.
RR has been in this same school since Kindergarten (it’s K-8) and since it is a private school, there is only one class per grade. Meaning she has had the same classmates forever! This group of girls have always been a problem with RR. In Sept. 2011, I sent an email to the homeroom teacher to inform her that RR was being bullied and what specifically was being said to RR from these individuals. I was given the response that it would be taken care of and that the students as a whole, would be reminded of their anti-bullying contracts that they signed.
Here we are a year later and I discover my baby girl SI because of these same girls. She tells me that she’s tired of being excluded. She says that party invitations are being handed out RIGHT in front of her, even while the school’s policy clearly states that the whole class should be invited – if they’re passed out at school. She says that the group have a secret language that they clearly talk about her again, RIGHT in front of her and the list goes on and on. She’s not fat at all but she’s got some meat on her bones and no offense to anyone but the school is predominantly asian, we are latinos. They call her fat. She is ashamed and the hardest part is that she has begun to hang around the grade lower than hers because the “friend” pickings is so limited. She is intelligent, beautiful, extremely sensitive and shy.
I am heartbroken. After my husband & I talked with her tonight, she didn’t say much but we were able to get a few responses to either questions or reactions. She says she does regret doing it and won’t do it again. We have assured her that she has our full attention and whatever it takes, we will help her. But what can we do to help her? We told her that changing schools might be a quick fix but even as adults, there are people who want to hurt others.
She is wanting to “talk to someone” so first thing in the morning, I will go to her school and I am so angry, I want to raise (you know what) but again, it’s a Catholic school and again, also my husband’s employer. He says he doesn’t care and would rather have no job than no daughter. 🙁
What do we do? I’m venting, I don’t know where to turn so I discovered your site on google and reading your posts, am also finding comfort that we are not alone. But now what? Is this something that we have to live with forever? Will she be tempted to do it again? I know it’s her cry for help. This is mine.