I can’t believe myself.

I’m nearing the end of this semester of college and it has been the worst one academically by far. I have two C’s, maybe two B’s, and I am FAILING a class. Yes, failing. As in if I don’t pass it, I won’t be able to graduate college.

I am a junior and this has been the hardest semester ever. I just really don’t know what to do.  I’m so incredibly stupid and just unmotivated.

It has been a while since I’ve posted on this website…about a month or so. I have injured a few times in different ways…my usual way I have not done in nine months now. The only reason I haven’t is that my parents now ask me if I have done it so I have to be able to tell them no. They don’t think to ask about any other form of SI. I mean, who would?

My family is going through a huge crisis right now and I am finishing up a horrible semester at school to go home to chaos. I will probably drink a lot to distract myself from the urge and I will do anything I can to just not think at all.

You’d think I would be okay by now. But no. I’m just the opposite.

But I do know one thing….I am darn good liar.