Ive been eating like crazy. Just binging away. its horrible. I feel sick half the time. im eating just to eat. im sick. i want to si. i hate myself in so many ways i dont even know where to start. not only am i putting on weight, im not working out, im not even sure where to begin. i keep staring at my old scars and realize i want to si so badly. i want to hurt myself in more ways than one. i want to hurt myself so i dont feel like this anymore. i dont want these emotions. i hate feelings. i hate having these constant thoughts, of having this crazy urge to hurt myself. idk im not making any sense.