Ive been eating like crazy.  Just binging away.  its horrible.  I feel sick half the time.  im eating just to eat.  im sick.  i want to si.  i hate myself in so many ways i dont even know where to start.  not only am i putting on weight, im not working out, im not even sure where to begin. i keep staring at my old scars and realize i want to si so badly.  i want to hurt myself in more ways than one.  i want to hurt myself so i dont feel like this anymore.  i dont want these emotions.  i hate feelings.  i hate having these constant thoughts, of having this crazy urge to hurt myself.  idk im not making any sense.