I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to self injure. I mean, I have recently in a different way than normal. But my counselor said that it’s not the same. I’m still 8 months free of my usual way to injure but I have definitely been stupid lately.

So stupid that I could get expelled from my college if anyone found out. Which, no one will because there is no evidence and no one is hurt or can get hurt, but I’ve just been really just stupid.

I’ve been trying too hard to fit in and I really hate myself so much. I just really want to disappear. I don’t know why in the world someone would even want to be associated with me. Except for the fact that I am the DD among my friends who are of age to drink. I just feel like they may be using me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.

Whatever. I’m not worth much more than that anyways. I just hate myself.