I live somewhere where the world is shut down. Last night I had anxiety dreams about being semi-forced to do various bits of labor and cried in sleep then remembered therapy, then that it is cancelled. I may be going an uncomfortable stretch without my therapist. I was feeling abandoned, like helpless. This morning I found some feeling that was more abandoned, like angry. I know he would really approve of that anger. I can’t find wise mind though and I want it. Emotional mind is outraged, feeling helpless, angry, sad, and very scared by turn. Rational mind is sort of mean. It has a lot to say about how invalid emotional mind is. I’d really like to find a way to squish them together and get some overlap. I see good sides of having a day of silence and retreat. I can talk in the phone and I have medication if I need it. I feel angry that the world is actually looking intact and this shut down seems meaningless. I can use the time though for creative work, house cleaning, book reading. Mediation feels like too much. I can’t sit by myself right now but I can use mindfulness and I can take care of myself.