Hi all,
My daughter and I are very close but my 16 year old injures. I have tried every where i can think of to help her. She knows she needs help and I feel that is a positive step to getting better but the programs she has been in are only one week at a time and aren’t dealing with injuring specificity. She doesn’t do drugs or drink. She has gone through a lot in her 16 years. I’m desperate to get her help. She means the world to me. Please help.
Hi,
I recently turned 19, and I know firsthand what it’s like to be a 16 year old girl who’s injuring. I also don’t drink or do drugs, but I’ve hated myself for a very long time. Her realizing she needs help is a huge step in the right direction. That’s the first step to stopping the cycle of injuring. If the programs you two have tried aren’t helping her, I would suggest just getting out of them. A lot of the time if something you had hoped would be a solution doesn’t work out, it just becomes more frustrating. I don’t know if she knows any other girls her age who injure, but maybe talking to someone her age who is going through the same things would help her. I wish someone had reached out and could be there for me. Someone who understood and could relate to the things I was facing. If you’re comfortable with it, I would love to help in any way I could. If you or your daughter would like, you can email me at kspaulding2@yahoo.com. Anyway, if she’s tired out from trying programs that aren’t helping, I would suggest trying things she can do at home, or that you can do together. Think of things that bring her joy. Does she like going for walks or car rides? Listening to the radio, drawing..even doing things like rearranging her room or ripping up pieces of paper can be good alternatives to injuring. Distractions that keep her mind or body busy are good for moments when she gets an urge or is upset. I’m really glad that some parents out there are doing whatever they can to help their children. Thank you for that. I really hope this helped. If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to ask.
There is hope for her. She’s not alone, and you as a parent are not alone either. There are several outlets for both her and you.
By all means, feel free to contact me if you wish. I would be more than happy to listen, talk, or share anything I can with you, and to help in any way I can.
gdaem@live.com
Hope. Help. Recovery.
Try seeing if she will go to a therapist. My parents got on me about it and I wanted help but they didn’t want to get any help that was not theirs. From personal experience don’t get angry if she still does it . It may be painful for you to see her going through but just bear with her. It is a very long process. When ever I want to self injure I distract myself. There is the ice cube method where if you want to self harm you grab a ice cube and squeeze it as tight as possible till it melts . I have not tried that but I have heard it works . If you wanna talk feel free to email me .
Mary
I was a self-injuring 16 year old a few years ago. I had gone through a lot myself, and I know how hard it was for my parents to figure out what to do about it. You are certainly not alone in that.
It’s wonderful that she knows she needs help. When I was that age, my parents forced me to go to counseling, which only made things worse, as I made it a game to con my way out of the programs by convincing the professionals that I was in a good place. With this in mind, I feel I should emphasize the fact that your daughter must truly want to get better in order for any true progress to be made.
However, I would definitely see if she would be open to seeing a long-term therapist. It provides an enormous amount of support and comfort if the patient and therapist are matched correctly. Just don’t become discouraged if it takes a few tries to find someone your daughter truly identifies with.
In the meantime, a few little tricks I’ve found to help with the urges are as follows: draw on yourself where you would normally injure, go on a run, allow yourself to cry, write in a journal. Essentially, find an outlet for your feelings so that they don’t begin to overwhelm you and force you into a mindset where you feel that self injury is your only hope for escape.
Feel free to contact me at any time.
Gretchen
Thank you all for all your help. She is now in a short term treatment facility and is getting out on Thursday. 🙂 I’m excited. I know we have a long way to go but I’m willing do just about anything to help her. I know she’s not doing this because she wants attention or anything like that. She has gone through a lot. I’ve been there through every step of it. I have told her that no matter what she does I will always be there for her. No matter what the mistakes she makes we will get through it. She is a very bright girl and I love her with all my heart just as I do my other three children. I also have two children with OCD and am trying to seek help for them as well. Thank you for all your replies. I was feeling a bit alone there for a while and was unsure what to do. But i don’t know how to quit when it comes to my kids. They are my life. I am looking at a S.A.F.E. Alternatives which specializes in injuring. I’m not sure if that’s what we will do or not but now that i know we aren’t the only ones. It helps. Thank you again.