I’m sitting in the emergency room waiting. My partner is in a lot of pain, it got so bad she could barely move and I brought her here. The car died twice on the way to the hospital and I just can’t stop this anxiety. I spent the day with my whole family and my mom had a bottle of my previous drug of choice. A whole bottle right there and I wanted to take it so badly. SO badly. I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now. I’m very worried about my girlfriend and I’m extra worried because we’re gay and sometimes hospitals don’t look so kindly on that. I’m just crying constantly today and I want to hurt myself. I want to do it badly and severely and I want to feel better and safe.
Hi baristasteph. My partner (wife) of 15 years and I would have similar issues with hospitals at times. It was always me in the hospital (mental and physical issues at different times). She had i little trouble but not a lot at first when we were younger, 18-25 or so, but either she learned how to work the system or as we got older hospital staff policies changed or society ideals changed… Hard to tell. We had more trouble buying a condo together and a house later believe it or not.
I guess its depends on where you live and what staff members are on the treatment teams too. We lived in Seattle for most of my hospitalizations, which is a very large and openminded city. And the last four years here in Portland, OR no one has even flinched when they find out. Hospital staff had mo problem talking to her and keeping her informed.
If you do have trouble i would suggest having your gal do a living will. And you too. It will help in my opinion
Hang in there. Find things to keep busy while your just sitting around. Good posture helps, walk the halls for 10-20 min, take a rest outside… Be creative with distractions 🙂
I hope things are better for you today, that your girlfriend is doing well and that the hospital staff treated you both with kindness and respect.
The whole situation sounds very overwhelming and I can understand the need to SI, but you sound like you are staying strong by not SIing and not taking the bottle of pills and that is something to be proud of. Stay safe. You are not alone.