My car broke down last night and I had to have it towed home and I can’t afford to fix what’s wrong with it. I also don’t want to put hundreds of dollars into it because I’m getting rid of it soon. Just waiting on other people to follow through. I have bad anxiety. I feel like I can’t breathe and my stomach hurts really bad and my body is shaky, especially my hands. I’m trying really hard to not let this escalate into an anxiety attack. I feel like maybe all those years of self help books and practicing breathing and ways to calm down before any therapy has payed off a little. I’m freaked out a out my car because it’s our only transportation and the city bus system here is pretty terrible. How do I get to work and school? I can get rides to AA meetings and my therapist will pick me up for therapy…those are super important but I’m worried about work and school. I got a ride to work today from my neighbor. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Would other people be this stressed out about this? I just don’t really know what to do right now. I have a tool in my wallet, it’s been there a long time, at least a year. I forgot about it until I was cleaning out my wallet a few days ago. I should have thrown it away but that little voice in my head said “no, keep it in case you really need it.” So last night I really considered using it but I called someone. I even had a plan, I got a ride from someone while my girlfriend rode with the tow truck driver and I was going to do it then. I was going to lock the door and do my old ritualistic cleaning stuff and be alone so I could feel safe with my SI and the comfort and pain. Ugh =( turned out we got home at the exact same time and I was disappointed and relieved.