I got out of my late class tonight and my jaw was sore because I had been clenching it all during the day and I didn’t realize it until driving home. This is what it’s like not SIing and not effectively dealing with the feelings in healthier ways. It is affecting other parts of me and I don’t feel normal. The tool from the other day that I didn’t use is still on the table hiding underneath a notebook. I want to pick it up and feel it again…but why? Things feel very overwhelming right now, but that is nothing new. Things have felt this way before and I didn’t have an urge quite this strong.
I feel like I am holding in so much and I can’t talk to anyone. I am silently screaming to be heard, and sometimes SI would help with being “heard”. How do I talk to people when I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk with – not about this stuff anyway.