I’m suppose to be doing homework…but instead i have isolated myself, been having urges to SI and my anxiety is horrible.I thought the longer you went free of SI the easier it would be. Today i had an exam and i think i failed it… then my next class i found out my midterm i did fail. I have a paper due, appointments, events just everything. I’m so used to dealing with all of this through SI. I’m really struggling and my eating disorder well i’m lapsing. I’m really depressed and i feel REALLY alone. I want to SI so badly right now and i’ve gone111 days without it… it’s getting hard to keep myself together right now. I feel like i NEED to do it, i’m a failure and should just drop out of College. Who cares about me? No one. I haven’t communicated with my friends and i know they’re all busy with school work so why bother them. They won’t understand… they think i should be over this by now.. i want to give up. I’m on the verge of giving up… i feel alone. Why not just do it if i’m a failure it goes with it, SI after 111 days i’m already a failure right? I don’t want to feel these emotions… i don’t want to talk to people and let them see how stupid i am. How much of a failure i am to everyone. I’m alone, i feel alone and i just really want to SI.