I’m such a fool…I knew this would happen again. Six months ago I finally stop SI-ing, the thoughts go away, everything seems normal again. Slowly the thoughts come back into my head, appearing once or twice a day. I try to ignore them,think nothing of it, but I can’t fool myself. I try and push through each day, just shoving one bad thought after another to the back of my mind. I just refuse to experience Any of these emotions. These thoughts are slowly breaking through and fueling my desire to SI again. I just need to feel the relief I get when I SI. I have no one to talk with, anyone I had isn’t here anymore or has stopped caring. I’m just an annoyance to everybody, and an embarrassment and burden to my family. I’m tired of faking a smile for everyone. Im just alone and in pain, with the idea of SI keeping me company.
Just person to person, you aren’t a burden or an annoyance to me. You’re in pain. You’re not happy and you’re hurting. But that’s not you–you aren’t your pain, past, or scars. There a part of you, yeah, but not all of you. No matter how alone you feel, you are not alone in your pain. I know it doesn’t feel like it. The thoughts in your head may go away forever, but most likely they will pop up. Some days might be a struggle every minute. It’s so hard to deal with. But you can. You can get past it. You aren’t invisible.You can overcome those thoughts and choose life instead of destruction. I hope you don’t give up yet. There are still people out here who care.