I’m new to the blog but not to self injury. From the time I was 10 until I was 23 it was how I coped with life’s difficulties, very much an addiction. At 23 I went on a life-changing trip during which I felt empowered to be in better control of my life, and I took a vow to no longer self injure. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I was successful. I grew up emotionally, went to graduate school (twice) to learn dual careers I practice professionally, got married (just celebrated 20 good years), parented two step-sons and then adopted six more kids, several with special needs. Life is difficult and fun, stressful and wonderful. Only one thing has changed externally lately, which is that my job is more stressful than before and my superiors are themselves stressed and unappreciative, at the same time as which I have fewer opportunities than I used to to really make a difference in a child’s day or life.
Strange to find myself here at this point in my life, but I’m here–because a few days ago, after 24 years of “sobriety,” I self injured again. Despite all the decades of therapy–and a great therapist right now–I’m not sure why I am back and what direction I will go in at this point. I have a lot of good stuff going on in my life, which will help me stop again, but at the moment I just feel tense and self-indulgent.
Any words of support would be much appreciated.