I am plumbit2grd, I am not really sure how to do this, but I am struggling everyday especially this week to not SI. I keep getting rid of my tools thinking that this will stop it, but then I end up right back at the store buying more. I am feeling trapped, numb, and fighting is getting profoundly draining. I feel alone, I have no family, and the stuff that has happened in my life continues to haunt me. Some times the only way that I feel real is to see it from the inside out, but I am refraining, I thought that this would be a site that I could come to as I found it on line. No one will know me, and I can tell what I am feeling in the form of Catharsis and not feel ashamed. I hope. Maybe I will feel something, and not feel like SI is the solution.