So the week started off to a somewhat bad start I relapsed after 5 months on Sunday. Every time I feel like I want to relapse I can usually figure out where the feelings are coming from.But today those triggers we not even in the picture and my dad had the affect as if they were. A friend of mine struggled with self harm and her parents found out and who knows what happened to her. Part of me feels like it will give her a chance to get better but with my experience when my parents found out it made things worse because I not only had the normal triggers but I had the triggers that were caused from my parents finding out and well they went a little off the wall. Threatening my physically, mentally , and well emotionally. Some of the things never have gone away and I don’t know where these feelings came from today. Today not only did I want to self harm because I know what she is going through but something about it brought back all the same things that I felt when my parents found out and what I felt since then. But in my mind there were also thoughts of suicide like I had back then. I can’t really explain it but there were so many things and feelings going through my head today. I can’t make sense of all of them because there were to many but it just worries me . Well now I don’t even feel like I am making sense anymore so I am going to go, hoping I don’t relapse again.