I am needing some help. I have had this lingering urge to SI and it is sticking around and is becoming stronger. I used to SI mostly as a form of self-punishment and that is what I find I want to do now. There are no real major things going on to make me feel this…I have certainly been through much worse, but I just have been feeling so inadequate with things lately. I feel bad about myself. I feel that I should look better, be more in shape, study harder, be more assertive, have more friends,… and the list goes on and on. Because of the feelings of needed to be better, and thinking I should be better, but I am not, I need to punish myself.
I should know how to handle this, but right now I am having a tough time trying to remember the appropriate skills and tools. I just want to SI and the urge is becoming very distracting. I know SI will not be helpful, but I am getting to that thought of where I don’t care about that – I just want to do it.
I am trying to still be okay and stick it out without giving in.
If you wanna talk to feel free to email me anytime I don’t sleep well anymore so when ever you e-mail me I will respond.
Blueyedginger717@Hotmail.com
Mary
I logged in tonight to post something very similar. Your not alone is all I can say. My urges are driving me crazy but I painted my nails and crawled into bed and now there isn’t much I can do without ruining my nails as shallow as that sounds. Just keep your head up, life does crazy stuff like this and we just have to show it were stronger. Good luck