Although things are stressful and super busy right now, everything is okay. But in the moments where I get in a bad place, feel bad about myself, or feel like I am doing something wrong it seems like it would be so easy to just give in for once and SI. It has been a long time since I have done anything SI related, and I know I won’t do anything now, but I can’t help but want to just give in and do it. I want to feel what I used to feel in the moment when I did SI. But, yes…I know it will not accomplish anything, and it would make me feel worse later.
I think I am just feeling a little overwhelmed, a lot insecure and a bit lonely right now. It helps to type this out even though I feel a bit ashamed for thinking of wanting to SI, and thinking how easy it would be after so much hard work to get to where I am at today.
I keep telling myself it will all be okay. I am okay.