No luck on trying to make a difference seems like sometimes I have no motivation, I mean I really would love to reach my goal but for some reason I can’t make it there on my own……I need a little push.
My two goals are to stop doing self harm and to go back to being a “normal size”
I think one my reasons I do self harm is because of my lack of self esteem, sometimes well actually more like every time I look at my self I am in complete disgust with my own outer appearance. The main reason I do self harm is because it’s like a stress reliever for me, I know deep down that it shouldn’t be but I can’t help it, it’s addicting it really is. Today I gave in and did it…..and I didn’t see nothing wrong with me doing so but to others its wrong.
It’s slowly but surely getting imprinted in my mind that because I look the way I do, I should be making scars on me because I am now ashamed of what I’ve become… and it freaking HURTS! So why not turn that emotional pain into more of a physical pain…..