So I’ve been having these really bad panic attacks lately. They get worse and worse each time. At first it was just my heart racing randomly but now when I have one the whole room looks like it’s shaking.. I thought I was over this.. I haven’t SIed for 2 months or so. I wanted to so badly though last night until my friends talked me out of it.. I still want to but I don’t want to go back to that place.. The dark scares me but it tempts me so much… I mean my life isn’t that terrible compared to so many others and it makes me mad that I can’t handle the simple problems I have. I have a dad who yells constantly, a mom who used to abandon me for months at a time, a mother figure that abandoned me, and I just feel so messed up. I know there are so many other people who have it so much worse but I just I don’t know.. I scare myself..