Last week, I relapsed after six months. It was an impulsive decision. Like, I didn’t do it on impulse, I thought about it for a while before acting upon that impulse. I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t know if I should or even can. I don’t know. The results were a little scary, being that I haven’t SI’d in six months. It’s not the fear of disappointment from others, it’s the whole, “Again? Really? I thought you were over this, Heather.” I could tell my best friend, but he’s going through a dark period himself, but I also know that something like this wouldn’t affect him as badly as it would for others. He doesn’t really let things affect him like I do, which is good, but also not good because I need to talk to someone who is emotionally invested in my dilemma. He just goes, “that’s rough” or whatever. Who can I talk to, if I even can gather the common sense to let someone in on this. I don’t want to tell someone because I don’t want to hear their opinion or their blaming themselves, I made this decision and I’m owning up to it, in silence. I don’t know if this was a one time thing, or if it’s going to continue. It just happened and I’m just going along for the ride.