Maybe it’s my imagination but I feel like my medicine isn’t working as effectively as it has the last few years. My mood seems to be getting WORSE and more unstable not better. It’s been so bad this week. I just fly off the handle at the dumbest things and I almost immediately regret whatever came out of my mouth. I feel physically violent, not just towards myself but to others. For some reason I’m really ashamed of that. I wanted to completely destroy myself and you and everything in my path earlier. I hate me sometimes. I feel like I should know better now but it feels so intense and out of control. I am in control, I haven’t physically acted out-but it’s a big struggle. To not slam doors and throw and scream and leave and drink and SI. I feel like I’m 3 years old as far as my ability to handle to emotions is going. I’m frustrated.