I honestly feel like noone! Even with everything i do, all my activities like basketball and doing advanced claesses and taking an interest in my emergency club being a leader, i still feel like i am nothing. What i mean is whe i used to si i was someone, i was an SIer. Its been almost 8 months since my last relapse and i feel good i feel like a new me. But im scared because i really dont know who this new me is i dont know who i am. I still have my own issues with thingsthat i deal with (and by deal with i mean push under a rock for later) but u habdle things differently. I dont SI andi should be proud of that because i got help and i wanted to stop but now i feel the people who helped me dont like me anymore. I feel like im bothering them and that they feel they were done helping me and i didnt get the hint. And that hurts me deep because i put so mich trust in these people and i feel let down yet again and its super hard for me to trust people it really is. I dont know really how to ffind me but i no i just cant SI. Its been to long and i no if i start again all the teachings ive had would be ruioned. Im scared because there have been times where ive messed up. Where i held the tool in my hand and remembered the feeling of it. Its all messed up, im messed up. And dont know how college will be, im super stressed from my senior year now, but i have pple helping me. Wen i gt to college im on my own then what? Whos to say the SIing wont return? Me i guess. Idk. Idk who me is tho. Im not a SIer anymore. Im not the person everyone sees. I guess i really am nothing.