I know that we are supposed to be stopping because it is “bad for us,” but in my heart of hearts, I wish I didn’t have to stop. I don’t see how “incredibly” bad it is for me… it helps me relax, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, I suppose you could say. I don’t even know how it came to this… people just kept finding out, guessing, seeing it in my clothing choices and I was forced to stop, for them. Not for me. For them… because I can’t stand them hurting and worrying over me. They shouldn’t be worried, I take care of myself, but they still worry. Only a couple people cared to really be there for me… made me feel like I needed to stop for them. One time, my friend Sam and I were talking and laughing and just hanging out in the grass near my school, and the topic of my injuring came up. At this point, it was the day after I decided to stop. And I showed him. And he touched my scars. This wasn’t love, it never has been… it was out of friendship. He wasn’t disgusted by me or my scars and that was when I realized he really cared. So thats why im stopping, because I don’t want him to hurt like I do. I don’t want to in my heart of hearts, but I have to.