I never knew that so many people dealt with self-harm. After joining this blog, I realize I’m not as alone as I thought I was. I started self-harming when I was just 13, stopped at 14, relapsed at 16 and went into treatment at 18. I’ve definitely had a long history with self injury. I relapsed on September 1, 2012. It’s a daily battle.
When I do it, I feel better. But the next day when I look at it, I feel pathetic. Everyone see’s me as such a strong person, what would they say if they saw my scars or heard around that I injure myself? I can just hear my sister laughing at me, calling me ’emo’, saying ‘well at least I don’t injure myself” when we get in arguments and she has nothing else to say. She doesn’t understand that, this isn’t a joke, it’s a serious matter. Words like that make me hurt more. I can see my dad roll his eyes saying it’s stupid. No one will ever understands how this effects me and how it will effect my future.
I’m reminded of my S.I. everyday. Every time I take a shower and change my shirt. I feel ridiculous and pathetic because that’s how society told me to feel. My society.