I recently learned that a really good friend of mine whom I’ve also been dating for 5 months SI’s. She told and showed me last night, and I’m completely astonished. We’ve been talking about her ED for a bit now, but this is something she’s been hiding longer I suppose. I made her promise she wouldn’t do it without at least calling me first but I don’t even know what to say! She hides it well but I see through it like a window now she really is in a dark place, and it’s tough because she takes it out on herself, me, and her own family. I don’t want to leave her side I love her so much but she’s so on and off with me I barely feel like there’s a connection between us sometimes. I’m glad she finally opened up about it though to her best friend and I. It’s like I’ve just been thrown into a new world that I really don’t know jack squat about.
I know I’m not the solution to her problems, but I’m always going to be there for her if and when she needs me, and I let her know this. Her mother still doesn’t know though. Is there anything else that I can do? I feel such a disconnect sometimes and I tell myself she’ll be alright but I’m really pushing a limit here. I’m afraid that she’s going to crash and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Thanks for reading
Being there and telling her you love her is great! Keep that up. Support her, build her up, sometimes you won’t know what to do (sometimes just holding her will be better than talking to her).
This is harder for me to relate to since I’ve been the one who has been doing the telling for the past four months.
I have had only one time where I’ve been the one on the receiving end of a friend telling me they have been self harming. Luckily this came in the time period of 2.5 years where I was self harming, so we promised each other to be each others support even if she would turn to another friend sometimes.
If you want more help, shoot me an email anytime: liamnutt@gmail.com
FFWhoHelpsAll
Being there for her is a good start. Keep her occupied. Weather that be going on a walk or anything she loves . Encourage her to write if she likes that or any form of self expression ( singing , dancing, ect. ) what ever it may be keep her doing what she loves to do as long as its not self harm. Be open with her because telling someone that you are self injurious is really hard. I had to tell my sister and my best friend and it killed me to let them see how much I was struggling. What ever you do don’t cause a big fuss if she does it again. Yes its a serious matter, but at the same time if she feels like when she tells you that you are going to yell at her she just wont tell you and will continue to do it. Thats what happened to me and I thought of better excuses and easier ways to hid it . I went as far as to wearing bracelets and under those putting concealer on the scars. If you have not been on both sides its very hard to understand. But it a long process been dealing with it for about 5 years not and still struggling. So hang in there. Send me an email if you need more help : blueyedginger717@hotmail.com
Mary