There is a show on MTV called The Real World and there is a guy on there that SI. This is a reality show, so everything on the show really happened, he SI, and  they show it. They show it so openly. I don’t know why they would do that, just like how they show it on Intervention. But yes, it would be nice for people to understand why we do what we do and realize that there are people that really do that. But I am soooooo uncomfortable watching that in my position. I have been clean for god knows how long, because I stopped keeping track. I have been clean, and the last thing I want to see is someone hurting themselves. I would rather people know that through books, not visuals. I would rather keep SI in general underground, because I feel so ashamed that I was in the position before. I’m ashamed to see that because it made me realize that I was that person before. I was just as self-destructive as that person, maybe even more. I don’t want to be reminded of that. I just want to forget, but I can’t because now the acceptance of the fact of SI is popping up everywhere in the media. I can’t do it anymore.