I’m taking night classes and I’m waiting for my first class to start right now. I am so anxious!!!! I feel weird like Ive say through a lot of group therapy, participated in some really intense stuff. Lots of AA meetings…but it seems weird to sit in this big classroom with strangers and not have that common bond maybe ? I don’t know. What if they mess with me? What if I have to eat lunch in the bathroom alone? What if Tyler P makes fun of me in a small room in a group of guys and what if the teacher yells at me in front of the whole class?
I really want to run. I feel like if I could SI right now, when the class starts in 15 minutes I will have that little secret comforter with me and I can be ok. A year ago I was in treatment never dreaming of beig sober, SI free, and going back to college. This is crazy and my anxiety right now is crazy out of control.