So…my little sister just asked me this question in a very mean way after she asked me a question over and over in which I answered the same way every time. So I got angry with her, as anyone else would, and she takes a jab at me with this.
I don’t get it. Why does this bother me so much?? I mean…maybe it’s because she knows I have depression, among other mental illnesses, and that I am recovering from self injury and that is NOT easy.
Tomorrow some of our friends are going to the beach and invited us. I have a Dr. Appt at 10 and I also want to go to the gym. The beach fun starts at 10, so I’m obviously going to be late. I don’t know if I am going to skip the gym or wake up early and go before my appt. I still don’t know what i’m going to do. But my sister thinks that if she asks me 10 times in 2 seconds that I’ll somehow figure it out. She asked me what time I’m waking up, I said I don’t know. She asked again, I said I wasn’t sure. Then she asked me if I’m going to the beach, I say yes. Then she asks what time I’m waking up…AGAIN. And now I have realized why she is asking me this…it’s because she wants me to wake her up so she doesn’t have to set her alarm! She has done this to me before, but usually I know what time I’m waking up so she can just ask. But since I haven’t made the decision yet, she HAS to get her way so she just continues to ask.
Am I crazy that this would bother me?? I sat up and yelled, “I don’t know what time I’m waking up, set your own alarm and wake yourself up!”
And she comes back with “Why are you so cranky…ALL THE TIME!?”
Uhhh I don’t know, maybe it’s because I never sleep? Maybe it’s because I have depression, which is REAL, despite what everyone thinks. Or maybe it’s because you’re ANNOYING and completely INCONSIDERATE to other people. Why would someone say something like this to someone they KNOW hates themselves completely to the point where they were once close to suicide and is still fighting a very serious addiction to self injury.
It just doesn’t make sense to me!!!
Of course, I don’t say any of this to her. I just come in my room and wish I could just disappear.