It’s a miracle that I made it through today without si.  I wanted it, and I still want it now too but I’m trying to ignore it. I just want to cry.  I want to punch a wall.  I want to scream.  The worst part? I know it will all get better once I si. I could just si.  But my mom saw a magazine article recenoff of celebs who si and now she’s all up on me asking all these questions.  Like idk.  I just wish I could be on my own. I could just choose to si or not to without hiding it.  Idk. I need to sleep. I need to sleep this off.  It really isis miracle I made it today. God help me tomorrow