My name is Kellie Kissler. My daughter, Ellie, has been struggling with self injuring herself for about a year. I don’t know where to turn. She is in counseling, so I feel I am doing everything I can to help her. My husband knows, but I don’t feel that I can share this issue with my parents or my husband’s parents. In addition, my husband and I struggling because we disagree on how to help her. I would love to talk to other parents who’s daughters are dealing with the same issue. Sincerely, Kellie Kissler
hi! my name is ileana salazar.
i know you asked for a parent’s help, but maybe if you looked at it from a teenager’s perspective it would be helpful.
i’m 15 years old, and have been self injuring for 2 years. i havent properly injured for 104 days, and i have done it with no help whatsoever.
my parents didnt find out until april 2012, but them trying to talk to me about it only made things worse. they took me to counseling, and i guess my parents thought that would help me, but it actually made things worse. it is very easy to lie to somebody you dont feel confortable talking to, so please make sure your daughter is happy with her therapist.
i used to skip my appointments, so eventually my parents decided to take me to a different one. i began taking antidepressants after i attempted suicide. the meds made me get even more suicidal thoughts, and also made me injure even more. for me, self injuring is a way to feel something when i feel numb. but also, to make me numb when im feeling too much, its very complicated.
from there everything went dowhill. i attempted suicide once more.
the only thing tha helped me was blogging, and talking to complete strangers. it is always easier to talk to someone you dont know. so what i did was find help here. there were a few people who wanted to help, so via email i oculd vent and feel better, and understod.
make sure she knows you are there for her, but please dont be over protective. she probably needs her space…..
oh also…..if she is anything like me, and most self injurers, she wont listen to you. so maybe if an adult she trusts talks to her…..i dont know if this will help….
im sorry if my story wa too long, or if it sounded like im telling you how to be a parent. thats just how i wish it had been for me.
My daughter became depressed and has been injuring herself within the past 6 months. She is a young adult who seems to consider injuring herself as a way to cope, and to control some of her emotional distress and the upheaval in her life. She has been going to a counselor and is taking antidepressants, but she says it hasn’t helped much yet. So far she hasn’t given up injuring, but I think it is less often.
I feel so helpless because she seems to push me away. I talked to a friend who has been through something like this. Her advice was to hug my daughter and make sure she knows I love her, even if it doesn’t seem like she wants me to. If she pulls away, at least I can say I tried.
I saw a counselor who suggested this website for support. She also said I should clearly express my daughter that I want to help, and suggest that she tell me what I can do (even if I have said it before). The counselor also recommended that I offer to go with her to counseling appts if she thinks it would help. I didn’t get much response from my daughter to those suggestions, but at least I am reassured that I am doing something that could be helpful.
One thing I also make sure to tell her is to come to me (or another responsible adult) if she has suicidal thoughts or a plan. I tell her that I can take her to the hospital if ever she feels unsafe. The fact that she has had some suicidal thoughts really scares me.
I didn’t tell her grandparents about the self-injury or suicidal thoughts, but I said she is depressed and is in counseling. That way they could be more supportive and perhaps visit or call more often.
I hope things turn out well for you and your daughter.
Mary