Some nights I just can’t take it. Like I can’t handle anyone.  My brain feels like its going to explode.  Going out to my car and getting a tool would be so easy.  I won’t. I already know I won’t. But oh do I want to so bad.  I want to do someting to feel normal and not so …..blah.  Like I want to be mean. I just want to be mean and honest and just yell at everyone around me to leave me alone. I hate it.  I’m not this person. I Don’t know why I’m so frustrated. Idk I’m just going to go and smile and fake it. I’m going to fake the rest of my life.