Lately I haven’t been sleeping right. I’ve had insomnia for over a year now and I’m on medication for it, but ever since I took a ‘break’ from hurting myself, I haven’t been able to sleep, even when I do take my medication. When I hurt myself, it makes me feel tired and I don’t have a worry on my mind anymore after. But now it seems like I’m always worrying about things. I don’t know if it’s me overthinking everything or what. The other night I read for two hours trying to make myself tired and it didn’t work. I was up until 5:30am just sitting there trying different things to make me tired. Even when I’m physically exhausted my mind is still racing with thoughts that keep me up. Last night I was sitting there at 4am and thought “Just hurt yourself and get it over with so you can sleep.” I didn’t do anything though. I bawled my eyes out because I was just so frustrated. I honestly don’t know what to do. My mom thinks if I go on a higher dose of medication, my body won’t be able to handle it. I’ve told her my thoughts on this and she thinks I’m being dramatic, so I just stopped trying. I feel like I just should hurt myself to get it over with and so I can sleep. Last year when my insomnia started, I started hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself and all these horrible things. I was hospitalized for that. I’m scared the voices might come back though. Maybe I’m paranoid or maybe I’m just over reacting. I just want to sleep without a worry in my mind.