I’m living a lie and I can’t take it anymore. My friends can’t see who the real me is. To them, I’m this really fun loving, outgoing, happy, hyper, loving, caring person. But deep inside I’m not. I’m suffering from depression. I hate who I am. I hate who I’ve become. To my camp, I’m just the girl with pink hair. Because of my past. Everyone does that, judge me by my past. It’s not right. I know I’m only 14, and I know being a non virgin at that age is wrong but who are they to tell me my mistakes are wrong? Who are they to remind me when I already know. The main downfall to life is that people are cruel and obnoxious when it comes to things like this. They don’t know maturity if it could save their life.  I wish my friends understood. My friends all the time joke about S.I, suicide and rape and they don’t understand how bad that hurts me inside. I’ve never told any of my friends except a few how I feel. Mainly because no one understands. I want out of this thing they call life. But I know I can make it through.

Haven’t S.I in over 2 weeks. I hope I can make it longer.