i really want to self harm. i honestly don’t care about being clean for over a year. i want to feel it again. i need to. i have to do it. i don’t know what else to do. i hate talking to anyone about my problems. they just pretend they care. i want to do it. but i feel like it i do it i’ll be disappointed in myself and so would other people… if they ever found out. right now, i honestly could care less if i relapsed. i just feel so empty. i cried before but now i feel nothing. nothing’s happening.