I feel severely impulsive. Alcohol, drugs, SI, driving very fast, anything. I scare myself. I just want to give in to it!!!!!! It would be such relief. They tell you to play the tape all the way through, I can’t remember the end of my tape. I talked to my therapist a few times, I talked to people in recovery, I went to a meeting. Nothing is taking the edge off of this pain inside me. It’s more than uncomfortable. Everyone says self care, what IS that? I need sleep, quiet, relaxation-that’s just not possible right now. I’m going to work now.