So I thought I had been self injuring only since I was 17.
But I just read something I wrote a few years ago about what I would do as a 12-14 year old kid and I am so shocked to say that I started then. Well, I started to subconsciously SI when I was 9. But deliberate SI was when I was like 12 or 13, but at the time I didn’t know it was self harm, but I knew it was wrong and I made excuses for it. When I was 17 I knew what I was doing and I didn’t care, but I can’t believe that it started earlier than I thought.
Is it possible that my self injury addiction was like…inevitable? Like I couldn’t stop it from becoming problem?
I wish I never started it. If I could go back and say to 10 year old me just one piece of advice, it would be to never make that first, deliberate, fully intended injury.
Some days are just so hard not to relapse. I feel so weak, as if I’m in the same place I always am.
But we are all strong. We just have to believe in ourselves.
Stay strong everyone <3