after over 8 months, i started harming myself again. i thought it was something that would get easier. the triggers were everywhere: friends, family, all kinds of my relationships. i don’t plan on it taking over my life like it did before. the last week or so have been hard. being bipolar is hard. i am really struggling…and i have no one to talk to about it. my counselor will just freak and send me to the hospital. what do i do? do i go to a new counselor? or do i just keep going to my weekly appointments and hope that all of a sudden things will change for the better? i am so tired of questioning my every thought. i am just plain tired. so again, i hurt myself out of frustration. i hurt myself because i feel worthless and completely helpless in all of this. i am not meant for this world. heaven is home. i am homesick.
I would encourage anyone in counseling to be honest with their counselor, myself included. For me in recovery, nothing difficult has changed suddenly. The things that have changed for the better have all been things I’ve had to work for. I can’t tell you whether or not to find a new counselor…I don’t know your age or details but I can almost guarantee you that if you’re not honest with whoever you’re seeing they can’t help much. Bipolar disorder and things or the sort ARE so hard, and just emotionally and mentally exhausting. I understand what you mean about questioning all your thoughts. I hope you start feeling better.
Your not the one who’s hopeless, its just your moods getting the better of you, hope you feel better.