I hate my life. I met a guy online (yes, don’t tell me it’s pathetic) and we were friends for 2 years, he was really there for me and I fell in love with him. When he called me his girlfriend more than a month ago, I had to say yes. We started moving to phone calls and he wants to meet – even knowing about my secrets and past and self injuring. What’s the problem? I’m deathly afraid, ignore his calls, and am terrified of meeting because I’m so self-conscious. I had a horrible past relationship (where I was used – and raped) and I’m terrified of loving again. I know he won’t hurt me. I’m..terrified of myself. Letting more people down. No one’s ever been there for me… Last night, he finally gave up on me. He told me to get professional help. I wish he’d know he was the only help I ever needed…I just want to injure, but that would only be a temporary release. I want him in my life…