Thank you mom, for ruining my day.
Thank you for making me hate my life and all of my actions today. Thank you for ruining a perfect day that for once I got to relax. The one day I dont work late. The one day I dont have to worry about anyone else but me, and what do you do?? You make me hate myself. Make me feel selfish for going shopping to take a mental health day for myself. You ruin my fantastic mood and now I si-ed when I promised I would never si because of someone else. Thanks mom, for ruining my life, like you always have.
I wish I didnt crumble so quickly. But it took every once of strength to not SI when I was driving home. it took so much control. I had to literally breathe out loud to get calm enough so I could drive home again. Why is it always my fault?? I do everything they always need. Anything I get asked of I do. And the ONE day, I take for myself, and not even a whole day!!! I got off work at 2:30!! I get home now to SI and feel worse about myself?! Like for a mom, shes doing a pretty lousy job. I have never met anyone as selfish as my mother. Everything is about her, and god forbid anyone enjoy their day. I dont even know how to explain it. I just want to cry, but I cant. I chose to SI instead, and I finally feel calm, which stinks. Because I didnt want to Si. I wanted to calm down enough to not si. but thanks to my wonderful mother, here I am. At least my mind is at its normal pace again. I can think at least. I can breathe again. I can go on a try to finish my day and still salvage it.
Thanks mom, for making me feel like a ten year old child who stole a cookie from the cookie jar, not the 23 year old full time student, employee, and volunteer. Thanks.