Thank you mom, for ruining my day.

Thank you for making me hate my life and all of my actions today.  Thank you for ruining a perfect day that for once I got to relax.  The one day I dont work late.  The one day I dont have to worry about anyone else but me, and what do you do??  You make me hate myself.  Make me feel selfish for going shopping to take a mental health day for myself.  You ruin my fantastic mood and now I si-ed when I promised I would never si because of someone else.  Thanks mom, for ruining my life, like you always have.

I wish I didnt crumble so quickly.  But it took every once of strength to not SI when I was driving home.  it took so much control.  I had to literally breathe out loud to get calm enough so I could drive home again.  Why is it always my fault??  I do everything they always need.  Anything I get asked of I do.  And the ONE day, I take for myself, and not even a whole day!!! I got off work at 2:30!! I get home now to SI and feel worse about myself?!  Like for a mom, shes doing a pretty lousy job.  I have never met anyone as selfish as my mother.  Everything is about her, and god forbid anyone enjoy their day.  I dont even know how to explain it.  I just want to cry, but I cant.  I chose to SI instead, and I finally feel calm, which stinks.  Because I didnt want to Si.  I wanted to calm down enough to not si.  but thanks to my wonderful mother, here I am.  At least my mind is at its normal pace again.   I can think at least.  I can breathe again.  I can go on a try to finish my day and still salvage it.

Thanks mom, for making me feel like a ten year old child who stole a cookie from the cookie jar, not the 23 year old full time student, employee, and volunteer.  Thanks.