So, I’ve always worn at least one bracelet since I was 12. I started self harming when I was 17, but I started wearing bracelets early on. So when I started to self harm, there wasn’t a noticeable change.  I knew I could hide it with the bracelets I already wore.
What’s really twisted, is that when I was going through short times of being “okay” and not self injuring, I’d wear heavy amounts of bracelets anyways. Not to cover the scars, but so when I self harmed again, I’d still have that security blanket of no one noticing a change. I even wore them out tanning on purpose, so when my mom would ask me why I was wearing so many, I’d say that I forgot to take them off  that there’s an ugly tan line.
So here I am, almost 4 months SI free, with the scars pretty much faded, and I’m still wearing  bracelets. I mean, unless a person knew or if direct sunlight hits it at just the right angle, you can’t really tell. They look like normal creases of my skin.
But I still won’t take off the bracelets.
I don’t know why. I mean I’m not planning for a relapse. I actually really want to stop self harming for good and I’m at a pretty good place right now. Should I stop wearing the bracelets to give me more of a reason to not go back to SI?
I just thought this was interesting and I wanted to share. Hopefully this is not triggering and I’m allowed to say all this.
Any thoughts would be appreciated!