I’ve beening hurting myself more lately but I don’t even have a reason anymore. It’s just a routine for me now. Hurt myself, and walk out as if nothing even happened. People believe me when I say I’m done because I don’t hurt myself where they can see scars now. I told this guy who I’ve been getting really close with, friend wise, and he said he has been down that path before. When I told him my story on it, he told me to try not to for him. So now, I am trying not to hurt myself for him. Him only. I’m not even trying for myself anymore. I don’t know if that’s even a good thing. I haven’t hurt myself in three days now, but I feel wrong about it. I’ve been doing it for three years so this is kind of a big step for me because I know I actually need to stop because it’s just kind of a habit now. I don’t want to disappoint him and hurt myself, so that’s really the only thing stopping me. I can’t wrap it around my mind that this is right. I told him I don’t want pity from anyone or for anyone to lecture me or feel bad for me or worry about me and he understood that but he’s still going to worry. Should I really only be trying for him? Or should I still try for myself? I can’t seem to find the answer here. I can’t help but be paranoid with this. I feel like I’m just going to snap at any moment.