It’s been a rough while for me lately. Dealing with a lot of issues and trying to get myself sorted out. I’m slowly learning, but it’s a process of learning a bit and falling, unfortunately.
Don’t get discouraged. You’re learning too. You won’t be perfect, but no one is expecting you to be. When you learn to play and instrument or ride a bike, you stumble around with chords and you fall off the bike. This is no different.
The feelings and emotions that you’re keeping bottled up inside, and how you choose to let them out… Darling, there’s a healthier and a better way. I’m a hypocrite for saying this, because I too have had my fair share of releasing the emotions in an unhealthy way. But look at the results; the scars, the hiding you feel you have to do. You don’t have to. Accepting the scars, but feeling uneasy about them, are a part of growing. I did takewondo for a long time and one the back of my body protector there was a tag that read ‘Fear not losing, but of not learning from the loss.’ I think is 100% true here, too; don’t be ashamed that you slipped up, or that you’ve had a bad day. Stop for 10 seconds and think what you could have done differently, and what you learned this time.
Tips for overcoming SI urges; I’ve tried a thousand healthier alternatives to SI’ing. Here are a few that I think might be beneficial for some others who are struggling.
– Ice. A doctor told me one time that if you hold an ice cube in your hand and squeeze it as hard as you can and let it melt it will make the urges subside. I asked about frostbite, and he said that it was highly unlikely to get frostbite in this context.
– Scent. A few times, if I’ve had a really bad day, I did this. Scent is a powerful sense to the human body, and certain smells can put you at complete ease. Change your bedding (regardless of if it is soiled or not) this includes sheets and any and all pillowcases. Put fresh sheets/pillowcases/blankets on the bed (or newly washed, whatever your preference) and spray lightly with a light-scented fabric freshener (if you have any) like febreeze. Get a shower, regardless of if you;re actually dirty or not). After you dry off, get in a comfortable set of pajamas and lay in bed. The smell of fresh bedding and a light smell of febreeze is VERY relaxing.
– Music. Pretty self-explanitory.
– Anything else relaxing, or maybe not relaxing. Something to get your mind off it. Go for a run, bike ride, something to distract yourself.
Happy to talk anytime, to anyone. 🙂