I kinda realized that no matter what you do even if you change naturally over time, people will always have plenty of negative things to say Even the ones closest to me that I never expected to act the way they do sometimes have said things I never really thought I’d ever hear them say. It’s kinda sad. I’ve mad a lot of mistakes over the last 6 months of this year, and I’ve changed a lot since this year started. But now I’m thinking I should retreat back to the safe place that was my evasiveness, away from criticism and scrutiny by the hands of the ones I try so hard to please constantly telling me I’ve been and am doing nothing at all and Have made no good progress whatsoever. How can you say you want to listen to my problems but complain about me keeping you up? And if I say nothing you accuse me of not talking anymore? If I cover up I need to change. If I dress less covered I’m too trampy. So yeah i’m tired of trying new things and expressing changes I’ve made. It’s too hard to live like this…. I’d rather give up. I’m tired of being everyone’s doormat. Don’t stand up for yourself and you’re a whipping post. Fight for yourself and you’re difficult and confrontational. I’m just gonna try to be what I want and if people want to pick at what they’ve pushed me to then tough. Nag away, because if the ones I love can be like that then I can take anything.