i was doing fine. i wasn’t thinking about self injury and i wasn’t as depressed as usual. but then, something happened. i have no idea, to be honest. but all i want to do is self injure. i feel sooo depressed. i keep thinking about negative things and how i really need/want to end my life. i was even thinking of ways i could do it. i don’t want anyone to know that i’m feeling this way. it’s like last year all over again. all when i started to self injure.. i feel the same way, not as bad but not any better. i now have literally no one to talk to about these things. no one here, nor over the internet or anything. all of them are leaving to college or i’ve just lost them as a friend. sometimes i think, life is worth living… don’t be stupid and end it all. other times i’m ready to just put it all to an end. i mean, i do wonder. feeling that way isn’t the best feeling in the world, is it? and i’m sure many people can relate to this. but, we all feel it differently. mine has been worse than this in the past year but, this might be my close second. self injuring doesn’t seem that bad right now. who cares about the 10 months and some days i’ve been clean? no one. might as well.. but here’s the thing. i just can’t. but something just stops me, and pulls me away from doing it. in my mind i’m screaming “what are you doing?! do it. you’ve done it many times before.” but my body thinks different. is that crazy? i guess. i’m weird, in ways i sometimes can’t even explain. the school year is almost over, which will make things 100x’s better once it is. for now, i’m dying on the inside. i won’t be any better in the summer. meh, who knows? the weird thing though, is that i don’t think i have problems. sometimes i feel like i’m just depressed for no reason and that other people in the world have worse problems than me. that maybe i’m just over exaggerating. then i come to the conclusion that i do have some problems. maybe not as many as before but i have some. i’ll have to work on them, in the mean time… anyways, sorry this was so long. help me out, please?