Recently, my mom found out about my S.I. She freaked out, but as overprotective as she is, she didn’t really do anything to make sure I didn’t do it again after the first couple of days. I was doing okay until there was a huge blowout with my dad. Like, major. And I S.I.ed again. I just don’t even know what to do anymore. I want to stop so bad, but it almost seems like it’s out of my control. I feel guilty too, because after some of the stories I’ve read, my life really isn’t all that bad. I have a fairly loving family, some friends, and people who care about me. So I feel like I shouldn’t have a reason to even do it, but it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even really need a reason anymore, just certain things trigger it, and sometimes nothing does except my mind. I just can’t take it.
My parents recently found out about my self harm too.
But hey, it’s not about who’s life is worse off than another’s. Every one has feelings and knows what emotional pain feels like. Everyone just has different ways of coping. Some people abuse substances, some people cry, some people punch a punching bag, and we self injure. Some are definitely healthier than others and are not dangerous, but all people have some way to cope.
Unfortunately, we found this unhealthy coping mechanism of self injury that helps and it’s hard to understand it but it does make sense why it helps. It is proven that physical pain releases endorphins in the brain that calm you down and make you feel better. That’s where the addition is born. But other things can cause this same release of endorphins, such as crying or exercising or venting very elaborately.
Comparing your sufferings to others will just make you feel worse and, for me, it would always make me self injure more because I hated myself even more for doing it. I don’t know if that’s you, but try not to compare. You have every right to feel the way you do, you just have to find another way to cope. A healthy way.
I understand what you mean about triggers though. Anything can be a trigger sometimes. You just have to really think about the aftermath of giving in to the urges to self injure and deciding if it’s worth it. Because usually if I think that way, I realize it’s not worth it. Think as far into the future as possible and decide if you still want to be self injuring then. If it’s a no, then you know you have to start somewhere and stop self harming. I know it’s hard, but I believe you can do it!
I hope I’ve helped. Email me any time. :)visiblyperfectinvisiblyscarred@gmail.com