When I was freaking out earlier today i was sure I was not going to make it through today without acting out in some destructive way. I practiced that “taking care of myself ” thing they’ve told me in rehab and therapy. I was totally overwhelmed and I finally did get up out of my bed and since my gf said she was done-I said to myself well ok, Im going to get the last of what I need from the old apartment and I’m going to shower and feel clean and cooler and when I get too tired or hot moving this stuff over I’m going to stop. So I did that. While I was going through some things I found an old journal from September-November of 2010 and put it in my bag. I opened it to read what I had written and since I was in the mostly empty apartment all by myself I read out loud. I got a little emotional reading these things I wrote! I HATED myself, It was hard for me to say some of the things I had written about myself out loud. I didn’t injure today. It worked, the taking care of myself thing. I’m still really upset and angry and overwhelmed and all of those things-but I didn’t act out. One day at a time =|