I I want to say I’m better. To say I havnt injured since the last time I posted.  But I can’t. I relapsed a few nights ago and injured. I tried reaching out to two friends. I’m not saying theyWerner helpful but in the end the urge was too high. It was just like I felt the tingling in my hands wanting to go buy a tool. I went into a store only for tools. I felt crazy. I felt like a creep. I felt like the girl at the checkout knew exactly what I was buying and for what use.


Today I was thinking how how this person was wearing an outfit that wasn’t flattering to her box shape. Then I thought about it… At least she does t have scars all over her body. At least she does t have t Obie her body because she ruined it. Then I was a little envious of this lady who wasn’t dressed well. Idk I want to injure. I’m out with my family having a great time. But I still want to.  It’s action time. Smile  set. Mood “changed” mask on.