I was moving a few things into my new house last week and accidentally injured my hand. It required some medical attention and has left my hand pretty useless for about two weeks until it heals and is fully functioning again. So I go back to work today after a 3 day weekend and I was told because I work in a food production area I can’t be there until the injury heals. I am broke, I can’t go without two weeks worth of pay!!! I got really mad, I completely lost my temper. I feel like if there were one emotion I have no idea how to deal with it would be anger. Anyway, long whiney story of my day is I argued it and they wouldn’t budge. I’m going to have to use ALL of my vacation pay I’ve acquired since treatment last August. I was so mad! I probably owe a few managers an apology for my bad attitude. My frustration was totally justified if I told you guys the whole story-but I should not have reacted the way i did. In the middle of my anger I thought of self injury and i have to say that I honestly didn’t want to. I just didn’t, it’s weird. Recovery is weird, it’s like I’m so used to the old way I did things my brain feels confused when I make healthy choices. In the 12 steps of AA the 3rd step says that I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of god. I’ve been praying every morning since I did that step a few months ago, every morning I turn my will over to the care of god (spirit of the universe is what I call god ). I realized tonight that this is a chance for me to put those prayers into practice and trust. So I let it go for tonight. I am just a little shocked that I haven’t want to or even felt any need to “act out” over it with SI or alcohol.