I thought I had been doing pretty good recently. But yesterday I felt like everything, all of my emotions, just came caving in on me. I couldn’t handle it. I’m so sick of feeling like this and I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell anyone, because everyone who does know about my SI thinks I’m fine now. But I’m not. I’m the exact opposite of fine. I feel like I walk around all day trying to make other people feel better when I’m dying inside. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sick of being fake.

Theres a new guy entering my life too. We’re slowly getting closer, but I feel like the person he’s getting to know is the “happy” me. Not the real me. Not the person who hasn’t been happy in a while. I’m trying so hard to get over my past and move on. I’m trying so hard to forget the things that make me SI. But its just not working. I don’t know what to do.