I guess I been acting differently the last few weeks or maybe it’s been months now?? My mother is starting to notice the change in my attitude and she even been asking me “what’s wrong” and “are you ok”. Let’s keep in mind that she never asked me those two questions before but anyways my response would be “nothing, I am fine” (knowing very well I am far from fine). Still being persistent, my mother continues to ask me those questions.
So about two weeks or so ago I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mother that I have been struggling with depression from the time I was 9 years old till now. I told her some of the details or should I say I told her the severity of my depression and the woman had nothing to say to me. She didn’t bother to ask me why I felt the way I did, or even offered ways to help me over come. My mother was never the “consoling type” and I knew this but I don’t know…I guess I had my hopes set too high in wishing that she would finally hear what I have to say. I don’t understand why a person would keep asking someone what’s wrong with them and then when the person finally wants to talk about things you don’t have one thing to say to them. It’s like why do you even ask me what’s wrong with me in the first place?!!!
Then what really ticks me off is that the following week my brother had to talk to her about something and she actually had a conversation with him. She listened to his problems, and actually gave the boy some advice and yet when it came to me she was speechless. The only response I got from her was her shaking her head yes and her having that worried look on her face.
How can this woman advise one kid but not the other? Like what does a girl have to do to get some attention from her family?
Not only do I struggle with depression but I also have a lot of jealous towards my brother. He always gets all the attention and everyone enjoys his company over mine. Not to put my brother down or anything but he is always messing up and everyone loves him no matter what but when I make a mistake everyone shuns me. I don’t have a problem admitting that I am jealous of my brother, in fact I announce that I am but even then my words just fall on deaf ears as it always does.
I am the youngest in my family and there is that saying that the youngest gets the most attention but that is a load of CROCK!!!
I am tired of being ignored. I am a person and I need to be heard!!!!